Monday, 28 April 2014

Nudges from my psyche


For a few weeks now, I've been dreaming about babies...from being given white kittens which, when fed and cuddled, each turned into a beautiful baby girl, to last night where I had two baby boys, both happy and gorgeous and I had to look after and nurture them.

This has happened a few times over the course of my forty three years, and usually occurs when I'm creatively dry. It could be that circumstances are restricting my creative time, or that I am mojo free. This time it's a little different.

There are things going on in life that are making me question things. Most things. Pretty much everything. You know when there's something BIG that makes everything else seem so small and inconsequential? That.

I love to draw. I love to make and paint and stick, and just create - be it art or cooking, there are creative opportunities abounding on a daily basis.

Recently my creativity had been tethered. Tied up, restricted, halted. By me.

I've had this underlying feeling that my drawing is so completely inconsequential that I've simply stopped, unable to get started again. There have been a couple of jumps starts, but inevitably the creative engine has stalled again.

Every time the seed of a creative urge has started to grow, there's this little voice in my head that quietly asks "what's the point?".

I was talking to my mum yesterday about it all and her answer was, that I love to draw and it's who I am, and it makes me happy. Agreed. Wholeheartedly. But isn't that just self indulgence? Well, yes I suppose it is to some extent...I draw because I enjoy it. But I also know that other people enjoy the things I draw and paint and sell so does that counter balance some of the self indulgent inconsequentiality of it?

Bit deep for me. Bit deep for a Monday morning!

So back to the dreams. Babies tend to signify new life, ideas, CREATIVITY.

I think my soul is quietly screaming at me to start drawing, making, painting, creating again.

This morning I'm watching the first video for an online art workshop in a bid to get the engine running smoothly again, get the babies out of my dreams*, and to forget about issues of inconsequentiality and the such and just enjoy the process.

How do you 'un-stall' your creativity?


*frankly white kittens turning into pink, naked, baby girls was a bit trippy, even for my dreams!


  1. Just sort of arrived at your blog in that way that can happen when I am avoiding work! I was touched by your thoughts about why you draw. I teach adults and in. Y groups this week we have been talking a lot about the need for creativity in our lives and how when they went through ahase whiteout it they felt retrsticted. Now they have a time in their
    Ives to explore it more and my job is to help them open up a little. I think that if Creativty is in you it's as vital as exercise and has to be built into life in the same way

  2. Ok so then ithe iPad froze, maybe a way of telling me to get on with some work!
    Anyway that last bit I wanted to say was you could read Alain de Bottons book Art as therapy which has a lot to say about why we are driven to make and create. The title is a bit misleading. It's. Not about art therapy but why art makes us feel better. Ok off to explore your Pinterest pages and then I will do some work!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I'd been thinking the same, that creativity is absolutely vital to a creative person, and that withdrawing it can diminish that person. I feel less me without it, that's for sure. I've started a new online art course this week, and whilst I haven't had chance to do any of the projects, I found myself sketching in between my work notes.
      It just goes to show that, if something is truly and naturally a part of you, it really doesn't take much to reawaken it.
      I will definitely be looking into the book that you suggested. Thank you for reading my post and feeling the urge to means such a lot!

  3. lovely blog post :)
    sounds cheesy but if you're born creative it's always in there.
    Nina x