Monday, 28 April 2014

Nudges from my psyche


For a few weeks now, I've been dreaming about babies...from being given white kittens which, when fed and cuddled, each turned into a beautiful baby girl, to last night where I had two baby boys, both happy and gorgeous and I had to look after and nurture them.

This has happened a few times over the course of my forty three years, and usually occurs when I'm creatively dry. It could be that circumstances are restricting my creative time, or that I am mojo free. This time it's a little different.

There are things going on in life that are making me question things. Most things. Pretty much everything. You know when there's something BIG that makes everything else seem so small and inconsequential? That.

I love to draw. I love to make and paint and stick, and just create - be it art or cooking, there are creative opportunities abounding on a daily basis.

Recently my creativity had been tethered. Tied up, restricted, halted. By me.

I've had this underlying feeling that my drawing is so completely inconsequential that I've simply stopped, unable to get started again. There have been a couple of jumps starts, but inevitably the creative engine has stalled again.

Every time the seed of a creative urge has started to grow, there's this little voice in my head that quietly asks "what's the point?".

I was talking to my mum yesterday about it all and her answer was, that I love to draw and it's who I am, and it makes me happy. Agreed. Wholeheartedly. But isn't that just self indulgence? Well, yes I suppose it is to some extent...I draw because I enjoy it. But I also know that other people enjoy the things I draw and paint and sell so does that counter balance some of the self indulgent inconsequentiality of it?

Bit deep for me. Bit deep for a Monday morning!

So back to the dreams. Babies tend to signify new life, ideas, CREATIVITY.

I think my soul is quietly screaming at me to start drawing, making, painting, creating again.

This morning I'm watching the first video for an online art workshop in a bid to get the engine running smoothly again, get the babies out of my dreams*, and to forget about issues of inconsequentiality and the such and just enjoy the process.

How do you 'un-stall' your creativity?


*frankly white kittens turning into pink, naked, baby girls was a bit trippy, even for my dreams!